Driving in Bangalore: A Guide

If you are new to Bangalore or have just got your license, here are a few key principles to keep in mind when driving in Bangalore. Following them is what separates a good driver from a truly great one. Look forward to all the compliments and thumbs up from your fellow passengers!

1. Adhering to traffic lights is strictly optional — think of them as gentle suggestions. If you don’t see any vehicles blocking your straight line path, go right ahead. This will ease the traffic load in general.

2. When you see a traffic jam on a two-way lane, ignore it and speed through from the opposite side like its nobody’s business. The people waiting patiently clearly have nothing better to do. It’s an opportunity for them to contemplate their life decisions.

3. Avoid using the horn sparingly. It doesn’t consume fuel, so don’t just honk once. Rest your palm on it for a full minute to ensure that it is loud and clear. They’ll thank you for the reminder.

4. The best hack for driving well is to assume the role of a horse riding with blinders on. As long as you can see a gap just wide enough for your vehicle to fit in, go right ahead and make a dash for it. Having a holistic vision of the road is for noobs.

5. The Motor Vehicle Regulation defines safe distance between vehicles as follows:

   A driver driving behind another vehicle shall keep sufficient distance, commensurate with the traffic conditions, from the vehicle ahead, so as to be able to stop (pull up) safely if the vehicle ahead suddenly slows down or stops.

   This means a hairline distance would suffice when at rest and tad bit more when in motion. One can always slam the brakes hard if the vehicle in front stops suddenly. You will inevitably bump into vehicles, but that’s just part of the learning curve. Drafting, where applicable, has its benefits.

6. The unspoken rule is that two and three wheelers are allowed to travel in the opposite lane on a two-way road. You might instinctively honk at them but realize that you’re in the wrong.

7. The lane markings, when present, exist merely to beautify the otherwise plain road. The idea of maintaining lanes is outdated and the curriculum is slow to adapt. Keeping to the farthest lane on the right and then taking a sharp cut to make a left turn at the signal is totally acceptable and encouraged.

8. The left and right indicators in your vehicle are artifacts of ancient times and don’t serve any purpose in this day and age. In fact, turning them on can confuse everyone else. Prefer not using any indicator or simply waving your hand when absolutely necessary. If you aren’t familiar with the wave, this tutorial might help.

9. If a traffic police stops you from taking a turn, wait until they’re distracted by other vehicles and make a dash for it. They’re just saying it to make their life easier and you’re not obliged to respect that.

10. Rear-view mirrors, especially on two-wheelers, are merely cosmetic mods therefore optional. Don’t be shocked when you see vehicles without them.

It is important to adapt to the changing times. Boring and safe drivers will be the first to be replaced by AI. Keep innovating.

Issued in public interest by the Bangalore School of Advanced Vehicular Improvisation.